Wednesday, March 23, 2011

A letter to Vaul

Dear Vaul,

After working so hard to put together this lovely army of Ulthuan's children, we now wonder why you have forsaken us. Tonight, my friend Mark of Brettonia, who knows not the rules of Warhammer, brought over a second hand - out of date - ragged assed - illegal listed - pile of crooked knights, and you allowed us to be smote. Some of the highlights included letting Mark roll double 1s on two consecutive no-hope break tests (WTF?!), seeing 16 swordmaster attacks fail to scratch a paladin charging the door of the watchtower, and the greatest insult, seeing my last two swordmasters holding the watchtower on the very last turn die from the attacks of the last two warhorses (the probability of this, incidentally, is 4/144, less then 3%).

Why have you forsaken us?


  1. Dear Children of Ulthuan,

    We regret to inform you we overhead the Brettonians speaking in whispers with a certain Keeper of Secrets. The words "sacrifice" and "luck" were noted. We expect nothing less from those sissy Slaanesh types.


  2. Try losing seven games in a row to a seven year old who, somewhere along the way, learned the taunted "ha-HA" then go complain to your false god of mathematical improbability.

    What are the odds of rolling two double 1's in a row--about 1 in 1200? You might want to give your friend the rubber glove treatment to check for horseshoes!

  3. Thanks for the rubber glove image Bob, after burning into my brain for a few seconds, that will leave a scar.

    Anybody have a spare Teclis model kicking around they want to part with?

  4. Mark still hasn't shelled out for an up-to-date codex or rule set, eh? SUCH a cheater! And then he rolls improbably well to boot. Cast him into the warp, I say!